Tag Archives: simple

Winy, self-absorbed bitch

I’m well aware that one of the most negative sides of my personality is that I can be quite the winy, self-absorbed bitch sometimes.
The good thing is that usually, at the end of all the drama, I come away with the positive side of the story and cultivate a deep gratitude for it.

Example.

Last weekend I got pretty hurt over criticism opinions my friends gave me – and Lord knows I don’t take criticism well (whether just or not). So for a couple of days I’ve been crying to myself about how nobody understands and values me and how I’ll always be lonely – as if loneliness is the purest state of who I am – an identity – a mission.
Obvious bullshit.

However today, after going through all the stages of my self-pity and anger, I realized that those friends are exactly the people I want and need and love in life and that I’m so blessed to be among them. It’s their honesty and openness and truthfulness that allows me to open up more myself. To be more genuinely me and – through that, eventually (let’s hope) to be understood. It’s amazing to have a place. A place for me, even if that me is sometimes misunderstood, or a winy, self-absorbed bitch with an exquisite incapability of expressing emotions. In the end, I’ll take a blunt comment over a fake one any day (just give me a weekend to process it and I’ll be fine).

I am blessed with friends who just seem to have me. Value me. And the exact thing that initially hurt me is in fact the very thing I love in people: purity, genuine interest and a desire to discus and share.

Yes, I might remain a stranger kind. Because most people apparently don’t grieve and think and cry over such simple things.Β  They seem to already know. Or they don’t feel or notice at all. I might be cursed.

But I will say for myself that, to recognise a lesson when its thought, to not take knowledge for granted, to have it come as a revelation, a relief, a mindful victory … that is the blessing of a self-analytic mind. Because as much sadness and anger I at times call upon myself, every pore of my soul feels and breaths gratitude when it’s presented.
A little delayed, perhaps, but surely and fully. And gratitude exists in abundance.

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Moist banana cake

It was cold and dark yesterday night. A violent and disturbing wind bashed the windowpanes of my tiny flat and rattled the doors. Unsettled, I was sitting in my sofa like a little pile of misery. Crunched up in a ball, face all wet from crying my heart out after watching The Imitation Game. I’ve mentioned Graham Moore’s Oscar speech on this blog before, yet after actually seeing the movie, his words touch me even more.

There I was. Contemplating life and fighting off a small internal crisis on whether it’s still okay to #StayWeird without being a gifted mathematician or extraordinary writer.
That’s when I decided to bake a banana cake. If you don’t see the correlation, it’s pretty straight forward. Nothing matches stormy nights like the smell of warm dessert floating through your house. And nothing suits the mind like stirring batter mindfully, while singing out loud in the kitchen.

Can you believe that I never even tasted banana cake before? What a shame!

Banana Cake


But enough about me and my questionable mental health. Let’s get down to business. Continue reading Moist banana cake

The warm richness of Mapo Tofu

Though Mapo Tofu is originally a Chinese dish, I first tasted it in a Korean restaurant and I’m hooked ever since.
The dish has such a warm, hearty taste and cooking it will make your kitchen smell wonderful.

Today I want to share a super simple adaptation to the recipe, that is far less spicy than the Korean version I had (I suspect them from having added Kimchi to even this dish) but equally tasteful and easy to make.

Mapo Tofu

Continue reading The warm richness of Mapo Tofu

Cake recipe for your inner five year old

Since I briefly mentioned baking cake yesterday, I decided to share my basic recipe with you guys. It’s shamefully simple, but also ridiculously popular with my friends and co-workers, so I guess simple is good.

Before you get started, however, I’d like to tell you a little something.

Recently, I’ve been letting my inner five year old decorate cakes. It’s a travesty, mostly resulting in a messy kitchen, too much frosting, clumsy designs and colouring that looks far from edible. But it’s SO MUCH FUN!

Cakesofthefiveyearold

In darker times, I religiously aspired to making my cakes look like they came straight from the bakery: perfectly smooth, delicate and drop dead gorgeous. If I took them to friends or work, I wanted people to say: “Wow, you really made that yourself?” not think “Wow, am I really supposed to eat this?” Sometimes, baking a cake even became a little stressful because of that self imposed pressure…

But let’s be honest here: what’s the point of a homemade cake if it looks like it comes from a store? Any decent, quality bakery can provide you with a perfect looking cake; freshly made, with clean ingredients and without artificial bullshit. You might pay a lot for it, but you can go and get it any time.

My inner five year old however, thought me what “homemade” is really about. It’s about having a blast. It’s about imagination. It’s about getting creative and away from the conformism. It’s about licking the spoon and continuing to use it (yes, I confess).

Does this mean that I’m never going to make a divine looking piece of patisserie any more? Of course not. Does it mean I invite you to take your inner child into the kitchen and get crazy for once? YES!
Think about it: if the result ends up being really that ridiculous, you’ll just have to eat the whole thing yourself. And that is, indeed, the worst case scenario.

Draw your cake

Continue reading Cake recipe for your inner five year old